(NTTAWWT)

They say “assumptions” only do one thing, but screwing with false ones is, on occasion, hilarious.

One that I often hear is that I get my kicks snogging chicks. It’s a pretty common one (no, really. What? Oh.) - so I usually pay no attention. However, the rarer moments of its appearance - the one hit wonders who call for no mercy - are the ones I can stop & appreciate. Those moments are meant to be handled with patience and class. Savored. The bourbons and chocolates of an otherwise mundane world.

One such moment presented itself Friday. A team of knuckle-draggers apparently felt burdened to share their ideas about me with the proverbial class. Let me remind you, there is nothing quite like a good your-mom line (and don’t you dare tell me how old n’ busted they are) - but a perfectly executed your-mom, with just the right touch of elaboration, dead center in a cloud of homophobia, is really a beautiful thing. The instant these rapier wits processed the implications… their reaction can only be described as “completely and utterly squicked-out”.

Savored, I tell you.

Your. Digg. Asplode.

Tonight I’ve been getting this uncontrollable urge to pull someone to a computer screen with a “you have to watch this!”; unfortunately that urge is soon followed by the realization that no one I could pull down would give a crap.

However: for the low, low price of $100 and one minute of your time, I can tell you how to drive your lame ass-blog’s hitcounts up 2000 percent within the hour.

Ladders and Snakes…have nothing to do with this post

[But AC/DC is always awesome.]

Via Digg:

Tomato Raid
Point the first: BWAHAHAHAHA. HA. Etc.
Point the second: growing lamps = probable cause? WTF, mate.

That is all.

Existence != right to procreation: Discuss.

[The following paragraphs were incredibly cathartic at this moment. Likewise, feel free to pay absolutely no attention.]

Essentially, fekking idjits should be barred from loosing their mentally defective DNA upon this planet. The end.

By the way, if you haven’t read here long - or haven’t noticed the few dozen related facebook status updates over time - or need a reminder: I have a huge problem with idiots. Of the ones I’ve been priviledged enough to encounter this week: I have a problem with the outsourced ones who ineptly man “customer service” lines. With the skeezy ones who blatantly lie to generate sales. With the apathetic ones who refuse to learn basic driving skills. With the myriad ones on campus, both sitting in classrooms and standing at whiteboards. And most certainly with the ignorant ones who can’t even make a decent cup of coffee… and then charge you $4 it.

Oh my good holy mother of pearl. I am by no means among the smartest, and have more blonde moments than many - but I generally tender a healthy sense of At-Least-I-Am-Not-An-Idiot self-righteousness. Honestly, people: how difficult is it to at least make some effort towards coherency, logic, and general cognitive ability?

I am so proud.

Those of you that pray… it has been, and will be, appreciated.

Spin the Wheel

…reason number Q why, should I ever become a parent, my child will never see the inside of a K-12 factory:

Chuck Narcho, a […] substitute teacher in Los Angeles, said younger children should not be burdened with all the gory details of American history.

“If you are going to teach, you need to keep it positive,” he said. “They can learn about the truths when they grow up.”

Via AP: Teachers ditch “traditional” Thanksgiving lesson; face criticism.

Ye gods.
Presenting the good little proletariats with a slightly more realistic view of our Founding Fathers != recounting a battlefield amputation.

You can’t go back to Constantinople

Instead of either posting curious lyrics — which are stuck horribly in my head — or else sniping about various morons; I present: This week, the good and bad.

Good things
Mysterious backpacks
Really great wasabi
Enough syrup to make a killer glass of chocolate milk
Rachmaninoff
zomg crazy sweet site hosting deals for the next year.

Bad things
Faculty who think my nametag = MAID SERVICE. No, I will not clear your desk for you, I’m only here to install ____.
Too much sun.
A nationwide coup on cassette albums.
Idiots. In general.

Guilty by association / Methodical eradication

I really need to invest in a good pitchfork and a roll of duct-tape. I don’t want to be left behind in the dust while everyone runs off to either hunt or hide.

Attorney General Alberto Gonzales said Tuesday that Congress should require Internet service providers to preserve customer records, asserting that prosecutors need them to fight child pornography. […] The law enforcement officials have indicated to [ISP companies] they must retain customer records, possibly for two years.
“We respect civil liberties but we have to harmonize this so we can get more information.”
[Associated Press]

We do… but we don’t. I understand completely. Does anyone here still think this will be limited to cases involving child pornography? Just checking.

As of this posting, the official press release has yet to make it to the DOJ’s site: it has, however, hit the newswires. [DOJ Press Release] The release itself is careful to avoid the deliniations laid out in Gonzales’ defense to the Senate: no mention of the phrase “customer records” or implied enforcement of the retention thereof.

Justice Department officials have said that any proposal would not call for the content of communications to be preserved and would keep the information in the companies’ hands. The data could be obtained by the government through a subpoena or other lawful process.
[Associated Press]

As near as I can gather, the “content of communications” would refer to image and site caches, etc. The only thing, then, actually being preserved, would be URLs and transfer/activity data. So, if you’re not doing anything wrong, what are you afraid of?

I’m afraid of the Person in charge of defining that wrongdoing… and the fact that “other lawful processes” can very well include probable cause. Reason to believe a crime is being committed. That’s all it will take.

Um. Come again?

So the comments on the obvious (etc. and etc., and so on, as well) have already been flying the virtual airwaves these past few days - BoingBoing & co. threw a massive fit especially - but humour me.

Um. Yeah.

WTF, mate?

For my last day at work…

…I wish to wear this. For the entire shift. Bonus points if I can request coworkers-du-jour.

In other news: Sara caves; watching a reality show through to finale. Yes, really. Oh, the large sea lions.

Edit: Um. No. I’m not quitting; though I am open to suggestions.

Of Bandwagons and Bandwidth

Of my relatively small collection of quasi-regular blogchecks, not a soul has yet to mention this particular hot-topic-du-jour: and I’m curious. So have at it, folks, be it by email, comment, or personal beratements (which may or may not involve trout and wet noodles). Net Neutrality. Go.

CNET Full Coverage
Snopes.com Article

[TX Rep. Joe, GOP] Barton … pressured his fellow GOP members to vote against Markey’s amendment…Net neutrality is “still not clearly defined,” Barton said. “It’s kind of like pornography: You know it when you see it.”

…And that, my friends, is what bothers the hell out of dear ol’ Sara. Sure, our intrinsic libertarian-esque leanings would generally tend towards the whole “ohh, keep the gummint’s hand’s OFF: Legislation of any type = TEH DEBAL!” — but this is a horse of a different color. Aside from the fact that his statement as a whole pisses me off in the first place (but that’s an entirely seperate ramble…); without base legislation to start with, who’s to make that call of “knowing it when we see it” — on either extremist side of the line? As nice as they’ve played thus far, I really don’t want to leave the call in the hands of the almighty Telcos for all eternity: nor do I want to leave it in Mr. Barton’s hands, either.

Granted, I have to agree with the Good Rep on one point: cases are being overstated, and dangers exaggerated.

Barton argued that Net neutrality proponents were overstating their case and exaggerating the dangers of a more laissez-faire approach. “I don’t think all the Draconian things they (predict) will happen if we don’t adopt their amendment,” he said.
…
“I’m concerned about e-mails being blocked from advocacy groups, of all sides,” said Jan Schakowsky, an Illinois Democrat who supported the amendment. “I’m concerned about start-ups that may be shut down.”

Amendment proponents who are going all-out for Neutrality are using all sorts of layman scare tactics to add to their supporters: the honest affects this will have on the average user, at least within a limited time frame, are nothing like the “OMGZ TEH INTARWEB WILL BECOME CENSORED!!!11eleven” effect that is being touted.

Nevertheless: the fact remains that what concerns me most — what scares the everliving shite out of me most — is the fact that The Powers That Be seem completely oblivious to the inevitable repurcussions of allowing the “nice” telcos to lay out their own, individual, guidelines. As a small-town chick, forced to jump through a singular hoop for my beloved broadband, I don’t really hold much stock in the (actual, overheard) argument of “well, if you think it’s that bad, then just boycott the big telcos” (gee thanks; try a traceroute someday, moran).

And so we wait. We watch. And we wonder what the future holds.